Seeing God’s grace even in the storm

Some days, like today, it’s hard to see God’s grace because all I can see is the humanness of those around me. I feel challenged today to find peace and grace and I know it’s because I have taken my eyes off God and put them back on man. It’s easy to live in God’s grace when I’m home surrounded by the quietness of the morning, the comfort of a hot cup of coffee, my Bible close at hand and prayer my forethought, not an afterthought. But here, back at work, with the pettiness of co-workers, the lack of concern of students, and the isolation of a small cubby hole with no windows, all I feel is alone. I know it’s not God. It’s totally me, but why? I don’t want to be that person. You know, the one who can only live in grace when there’s nothing around to provide a stumbling block or to hide His truth. But today, that is the person I’ve allowed myself to be. And, as I sit here and think back over my day, I realize that HIS grace has  been with me, in the reply to an email sent in anger, in the one student who gets it, in the co-worker who does take the time to be nice and to say hello. And in my heart where His peace does still reign and where His grace is in control. His grace. Even on bad days. Even on rainy Mondays spent in the same solitude as that spent at home, but that here feels like isolation. Even as I contemplate what He wants me to glean from the process. He hears my heart, he knows my heart, HE is my heart and I will praise Him all the days of my life because that, after all, is what He wants – worship and communion despite our circumstance because that’s when He knows and we can say “It is well with my soul.”

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