Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
Several months ago I went to see my pastor because I had a question that was weighing on me and for which I didn’t have an answer. The question was:
How does a Christian live their life when they know they aren’t living God’s plan for them?
Pretty crazy, right? As a Christian I should always be living God’s plan for me.
But, I knew I wasn’t.
And, I also knew that the not living His plan was the reason for my season of discontent.
Three jobs in three years.
Two churches and no real connection.
My family struggling with everyday life and with decisions that just needed God’s grace to help determine the right outcome.
All these things had finally weighed me down to the point where all I wanted was to know how to say “Yes” to God and to be, as my sister-in-law describes it
“Smack dab in the middle of God’s will.”
Hadn’t been there in awhile.
Didn’t even remember what it felt like.
I had been living my life with me in the pilot’s seat and God as a sometimes distant co-pilot.
What my pastor said that day shocked me.
But, I knew he was right.
As a Christian, living outside God’s plan for you is not an option. It’s sin.
I knew in that moment that whatever it took, I had to say “Yes” to God and to live the life He had planned for me.
Not the one I was struggling to orchestrate.
What happened next can only be described as a God thing.
Preacher took me to the office of his wife, our ministry’s personnel director, and he told her to make sure I had an application on file and to put it on the top of her pile for the coming school year.
See, our ministry has a Christian school. And, for the time when I absolutely knew I was smack dab in the middle of God’s plan for me, I was a teacher and administrator there.
I left, though, six years ago for what I thought I was supposed to do, but not what God told me to do.
Walking away didn’t change the outcome of what I left for. My mom still died from the affects of the disease she had.
I couldn’t save her.
I almost lost myself.
I felt like Moses and the Israelites in the desert. God gave me just enough to get through each day, but the promised land was only something I could see on the horizon.
I wanted to be Joshua telling everyone I knew that God could beat anything and breaking down the walls of Jericho but, I was more like the ten who came back and said we can’t do this.
Funny thing is, God never left me.
Until I was ready.
And, when I fell so low that I couldn’t go on.
When I cried out.
He was there.
When he threw the lifeline.
I took it.
I said “yes” to God because I don’t want, as Lysa says:
“We have to set our rules and agendas aside-our dos and don’ts, our social graces and proper places-and follow God’s command. His one requirement is so simple and yet so profound: Whatever God says do, do it. That’s it. That’s the entire Bible…” (pg. 20).
I’m saying yes and I’m living this week with my palms up.
Waiting on God.
Waiting for God.
Anticipating great things.